


Swapstuck

by klonoafan5



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Homestuck Kidswap, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-15 20:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 7,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12328602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klonoafan5/pseuds/klonoafan5
Summary: Four kids play a game. Reality and hilarity ensues.*IN CURRENT HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE*Read the latest chapter if you don’t know what’s going on!





	1. Prologue

TO WHOMEVER IS READING THIS, I WELCOME YOu. I WELCOME YOu TO A WORLD FILLED WITH DANGER AND TRIALS, BuT ALSO SAFETY AND SUCCESS. FOR THIS IS A STORY.

I KID YOU NOT THAT THIS IS JuST ANY ORDINARY STORY. THIS IS A STORY THAT WILL TRANSCEND FROM ITS CuRRENT FORM AND BECOME A WORLD OF ITS VERY OWN. 

NOW SIT TIGHT, DEAR READER.

GRAB ANYTHING THAT YOu WILL NEED FOR REFRESHMENTS.

FOR THIS IS WHEN OuR STORY BEGINS.

 


	2. Chapter 2

A young girl stands in her bedroom. Looking around at the white walls and the white furniture and everything except for the posters plastered on the walls and her other stuff scattered all over the place made her think.

She really needs to paint this room.

However, it just so happens that today is April 13, 2009. This lovely girl’s birthday. Although it has been thirteen years since she was given life, it’s only this day when she’s finally been given a name.

What will it be?

LAZYBONES LASSALURE

She shakes her head in displeasure. What kind of name is Lazybones Lassaure anyways?

ROXY LALONDE

You’re almost there.

ROXY EGBERT

There you go!

  
Your name is ROXY and it’s your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered throughout your room. Not that you mind, of course. You love BAKING. You have a variety of OTHER INTERESTS IN MIND, which includes said activity and CREATING NEW THINGS even though they HAVE THE TENDENCY TO BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE. Literally. You have the passion of WATCHING MOVIES WITH FANTASY-LIKE ELEMENTS AND CHILDLIKE WHISMY BUT ALSO WITH HIDDEN DEEP MESSAGING THAT ENTICE YOUR SOUL. You have a fondness for BIOLOGY, and aspires to be just a HUMBLE BAKER WHO’S ALSO A SECRET CRIME FIGHTING NINJA. At least that’s what you want to be in your head. You also like to play VIDEO GAMES from time to time.

  
What will you do?


	3. Chapter 3

  
>Roxy: Look at the mirror, you beautiful person.

After a bit of thinking, you decide to say screw it and look at the mirror.

Honestly, you don’t really see anything important. Just a young girl with short black hair and striking blue eyes which totally matches the blue bottle symbol on your shirt.

Speaking of clothing, you’re also wearing simple jean shorts or you like to call them seans as well as a pair of athletic sneakers, granted that you do like to run sometimes.

>Roxy: Retrieve your arms from your drawers.

You already have your arms, silly! But the ones you’re talking about are in your TIME CAPSULE, a green star studded chest that your grandma made for you back when she was your age. You just found it one day while you were pretending to be a archaeologist.

Unfortunately, you can’t open it due to your lack of upper limbs and that cake on top of it.

>Remove CAKE from TIME CAPSULE.

Out of sympathy for Roxy’s lack in upper body strength, the author takes the cake and gently place it onto her bed.

Huh. That was strange. Since when there was a floating cursor flying around?

Anyways...time to open up this bad boy.

>Roxy: Quickly retrieve arms from TIME CAPSULE.

You quickly take your RIFLE-ARMS out of the chest using your REAL ARMS. See? I told you so!

You then captchalogue them into one of many pink cards you have in your desk called a SYLLADEX.

>Roxy: Examine contents of capsule.

In here you have a collection of things that every AWESOME HERO and/or HUMBLE EXPLORER needs!

You are neither one of them, but they’re still very handy.

Inside you have YOUR TWO (2) RIFLES [ALREADY CAPTCHALOGUED INTO YOUR SYLLADEX], TWO (2) FAKE ARMS, TWO BOOKS (2) ON GARDENING and HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR PET, SOME (~) SMOKE PELLETS, A COPY (1) OF COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT OF MAGICAL FRIVOLITY AND PRACTICAL JAPERY, ONE (1) MAGIC 8 BALL, A PACK OF TAROT CARDS, and perhaps one of your favorite books of all time, THE HERO’S JOURNEY.

You’re pretty sure that all of these are going to be useful, but for now you take the smoke pellets.

>Roxy: Captchalogue the Smoke Pellets.

You captchalogue the SMOKE PELLETS into your SYLLADEX. You’re getting the hang of this ability, probably from your expansive knowledge of video games.

You have only two cards remaining.


	4. Chapter 4

>Roxy: Equip rifle arms.

You’re pretty sure that game mechanics wouldn’t work in the real world, but you’ll give it a shot.

...Nope. No can do. You can’t equip your rifles for that will cause your smoke pellets to fall out due to them being at the top of your stack.

And you don’t want that to happen. Apparently, your current STACK FETCH MODUS can be a bit of a handful and is broken as heck.

But someday you believe that you’ll find a better FETCH MODI for your SYLLADEX soon.

Very soon.

>Roxy: Examine Homestuck poster.

Beside your drawers, you have a poster of a young boy and his friends standing in front of a glowing white house.

You’ve only read halfway into this amazing adventure and have no regrets. This, along with the many other webcomics you’ve read, are perhaps one of the greatest decisions you have ever made.

There’s even another free empty space for you to place another one beside it.

>Roxy: Look at the piece of paper lying on top of your drawer.

You look down to see a piece of paper just lying there. It looks like one of your DAD’s BUSINESS CARDS.

Beside it was a roll of paper, poster sized.

>Roxy: Take poster.

You take the poster roll, captchaloguing into your sylladex for safekeeping. It’s probably one of your parent’s birthday gifts for you.

Now if only you had something to put it up on the wall...

>Search for the legendary items. Leave no spot unturned.

After searching for about a minute, you found a HAMMER lying under your bed and some NAILS in one of your drawers.

Success!

Sherlock Holmes would’ve been freaking proud.

You place your HAMMER into your SYLLADEX, but that only fills up your last CAPTCHALOGUE CARD in the process.

You wonder what happens if you try to put the NAILS in after filling up your CARDS.

Welp, can’t hurt to try.

You take the nails inside, only to cause your rifle guns to fly out. Crap! You needed those!

Well, the good news is that they landed on the floor after being thrown at the wall in front of you or else you would have been screwed.

Thankfully, this mistake helps you learn what happens if you do it again, so you put that into the list of things that you should never do.

And it’s a very long list.

Anyways, at least you have (almost) all the stuff you need, so the least that you could do is something productive.

Like putting up that poster.

>Roxy: Combine the hammer and nails.

You MERGE the two cards.

The hammer and the nails are now captchalogued in the same card and can be used together.

>Roxy: Use them on the poster.

You select the poster from beneath the other card TO CONJUNCT with the two items.

With those two cards at your deposal, you use the hammer and nails to put the rolled up poster right next to the other one.

Once you unraveled it, your eyes lit up in awe once you saw the familiar face of a certain blue hedgehog and his furry friends.

Nice! He has really outdone himself this year.

>Roxy: Examine The Princess Bride poster.

Hello.

My name is Inigo Montoya.

You killed my father.

Prepare to die.

>Examine Mother 3.

Strange. Funny. Heartrending.

No truer words have ever been spoken.


	5. Chapter 5

>Look at calendar.

On your calendar, not only have you marked your birthday, but also the supposed release date for the SBURB BETA to come out.

It’s been three days and you still haven’t got it.

You’re very patient though.

>Roxy: Eat cake.

Don’t mind if you do!

You are a bit hungry for some pastries.

But before you can take a bite of your desired delicacy, you stop to see someone giving you a message.

>Roxy: Examine your computer.

You go over to your computer, where you have spent most of your time besides working on your inventions which is why you have a BUNCH OF TUTORIALS ON HOW TO MAKE SAID IDEAS. Not that you use them of course. You can’t even make one great invention to save your own life.

Anyways, you revert your attention from those items and the awesome MIDDAY CREW BACKGROUND WALLPAPER that one of your online friends made for you as a early birthday gift to see that your PESTERCHUM app is blinking.

Without a second thought, you open the application.

Well, it seems that all of your chums are online. In order to not mess up your brain, you decide to answer them in the order of who came first.

Starting with unflinchingUnderdog, a friend that you‘ve met when you’re younger. In fact, without him, you would’ve never met your other friends in the first place.

unflinchingUnderdog [uu] began cheering goodnaturedPunster [GP].

uu: HELLO ROXY.

uu: I HOPE YOUR BIRTHDAY HAS BEEN ENJOYABLE SO FAR.

GP: heya cal!

GP: my birthday is doing great so far! thanks for asking.

GP: i hope you don’t mind me changing the subject

GP: but what’s with the politeness all of a sudden?

GP: no offense by the way :/

uu: IT’S OKAY. NO OFFENSE TAKEN.

uu: IT’S JuST I WANTED TO TELL YOu THAT SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

uu: YOu, JAKE, JANE, AND DIRK..

uu: YOu ARE ALL GOING TO PLAY A GAME.

uu: A GAME THAT WILL CAUSE YOu TO CHANGE AND GROW.

uu: NOT ONLY WILL YOu GROW uP IN THE METAPHORICAL SENSE, BuT ALSO MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY IN RESuLT.

uu: ALONG THE WAY YOu’LL EVENTuALLY MEET NEW PEOPLE ALONG THE WAY. EVEN ONES FROM ANOTHER uNIVERSE IN ENTIRELY.

uu: uNTIL YOu WILL EVENTuALLY CREATE A NEW ONE OF YOuR VERY OWN.

GP: wow

GP: that sounds pretty cool :)

uu: YEAH.

uu: IT REALLY IS.

uu: THAT’S WHY I’LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES FOR YOu FOuR TO HAVE A SAFE SESSION.

uu: (EVEN IF I HAVE TO DIE IN ORDER TO MAKE IT HAPPEN...)

GP: what did you say?

uu: =O_O= NOTHING!

uu: I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

uu: NOPE. MY LIPS ARE SHuT.

GP: ok cal

GP: whatever it is you wanted to tell me

GP: you can tell it to me or anyone else whenever you’re ready :D

GP: just take your time okay?

uu: ....

uu: OKAY.

GP: see ya later caliborn :)

uu: SEE YA ROXY.

unflinchingUnderdog [uu] ceased cheering goodnaturedPunster [GP].


	6. Chapter 6

goodnaturedPunster [GP] began pestering adventurousAuthor [AA].

AA: Salutations Miss Egbert.

AA: Congrats on hitting the big 1-3!

GP: why thank you mister lalonde.

GP: how do i owe you the pleasure of meeting you today?

AA: You don’t have to owe me anything.

AA: You are the birthday girl after all.

AA: And the birthday girl has got to have some presents!

GP: presents? what presents?

AA: Go downstairs and take a look. ;)

GP: ok i’ll be right back.

goodnaturedPunster [GP] is now a idle chum.

Alright. Time to get some presents.

>Roxy: Go downstairs.

You go out the door, entering into the clown abundant halls. Fortunately, your Dad has been out for a while now. Knowing him, he’s probably on a business trip, so luckily you’re safe from any upcoming pie attacks or any other pranks up his sleeves.

That still doesn’t mean you’re not prepared. You have a couple tricks yourself since the last prank war.

By the time he comes back, he won’t even know what hit him.

After taking a flight down the stairs, you arrived at your destination which is your living room.

You suddenly stop in awe to see not one, not two, but three gifts. All color coded to show who brought which one.

It’s official. You have the greatest friends ever. Out of any other kids in the whole wide world, you are so glad you have these guys.

In the midst of your utter excitement, you swiftly grab your presents and ran straight back to your room, making sure that you didn’t drop any of them along the way.

After that, you place your presents down on your bed before going back to your computer.

GP: whew!

GP: i’m back!

AA: Did you get the gifts?

GP: sure did!

AA: Well, what are you waiting for?

AA: Open them bad boys up! :D

>Roxy: Open the presents.

You don’t have to say that twice!

Your eyes lit up in anticipation and awe once you open the purple package.

Oh. My. God.

Is that really what you think it is?

Gasp! It is!

It’s a official Game Boy Advance!

Not only that, but you also have the three cartridges for the entire Mother series!

Yes.

Heck yes.

Heck.

Freaking.

Yes.

This is amazing!

AA: How do you like it?

GP: *fangirl squee*

AA: I’ll say that as a yes.

GP: thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!

GP: if it wasn’t for this blasted screen, i would’ve hugged you right now!

AA: Glad to hear it :)

AA: Whelp I gotta go.

AA: See ya!

GP: wait!

GP: i almost forgot to ask you something.

GP: did you get a message from caliborn today?

GP: the one about us playing a game soon?

AA: ....Yes. Yes I did.

AA: To be honest with you, I was lying about leaving. I just did that just to make you ask me about it.

AA: Sorry for being a manipulative jerk :(

GP: oh, that’s okay, jake. i would’ve probably not even remember to ask if you didn’t say that.

GP: but still this whole thing is a bit strange.

GP: caliborn has never acted this way before.

GP: unless...

AA: This event is about to happen soon. Even sooner than we think.

All of a sudden, your ears picked up the familiar sound of a honk. You swiftly get out of your seat and looked out the window to see the mail truck drive off.

GP: jake

AA: Yeah?

GP: i think i just got myself a new package.


	7. Chapter 7

Meanwhile, in the distant future, a Soulful Scavenger is exploring the endless desert.

  
Years later, in a faraway mansion, a black carapacian was about to sneak into a empty green room.

->???: Check to see if there’s anyone there.-

Using your skills of stealth, you peek your little eye into the keyhole.

No one there.

Suddenly, your non existent ears picked up the sound of someone heading towards this way!

Quickly, you go inside without anyone noticing you’re here.

Once the footsteps passed on by, you sigh in relief.

Time to get some air!

You slowly take off your DARKLY COLORED DISGUISE to reveal YOUR UNIQUELY BRIGHT SKIN.

->Reader: React extremely at this mind blowing moment.-

Gasp!

He was a prospitian this whole time?

WHAT A PLOT TWIST!

But seriously. He is a prospitian. What did you think he was? A Dersite?

->Introduce yourself.-

Gladly.

Your name is SPADES. SLEUTH SPADES, to be exact. You are the DE-FACTO LEADER of the MIDDAY CREW, a specialized group of prospitians made by the WHITE QUEEN HERSELF.

Your mission thus far is to investigate this mansion, find out whatever scheming plan the Felt is up to, and put a stop to it before it starts.

The WHITE QUEEN is pretty merciful, but the WHITE KING also gave you orders to end the shady bunch of leprechauns and their leader.

For good.

To be honest with you, you rather like to follow the Queen’s orders instead.

Anyways, your fellow members ACE DIRK and PROFESSOR CLUBS are in separate locations at the time, but luckily you have these WALKIE TALKIES to communicate.

->Spades: Look at those clocks over there.-

You stop to examine the clocks before you. They look very nice. You do wish that Lady English should’ve chose a better color than green.

->Great, now smash them!-

No!

Of all things you would like to do with them, you would never smash any of these clocks!

[Yet...the tick tocking of those green devices...it beckons.](http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6/&p=001916)

->Fine...At least make a fort of them.-

You gladly made a clock fort. All you need is a big sheet to cover it up and you’re be all set.

Psyche!

You would never do anything like that. Now while you’re on a mission.

On a mission every moment is priceless-

Oh look, some candy corn!

You joyfully stuff the CANDY CORN inside your pocket. You will never know when you might need it.

->Look behind you!-

You swiftly turn around only to see Fin, one of the 16 members of the Felt that you and your team have defeated while on your way here. So far, you only have defeated almost all of them, except for Clover (who tried to scamper off but only got captured thanks your uncanny skill of well executed traps) and is currently locked up in Professor’s CABINET), Lady English and Snoman,aka the Black Queen. Oh, this guy.

How? You rather not say. Just say that it involved with you, Ace, Prof, and a unexpected ambush and leave it at that.

By the way, he does looks pretty mad that your team accidentally killed the rest of his team.

You kindly try to reassure him that it was in self-defense, but he’s not buying it. Not one bit.

->Do something before he kills you!-

Hey look over there! A flying clock!

Fin pauses and turns around, giving you the chance to escape.

You don’t even have take a second glance to see him chasing after you.

Crap, you’ve reached a dead end!

You turned around to see a enraged leprechaun slowly coming towards you.

Wait, you cried out but with no luck.

With Crowbar’s crowbar in his hands, he ask you with a menacing growl to give one darn good reason why he shouldn’t kill you right now.

Because....um....

You then stop and looked ahead to see a clock was about to fall on him.

LOOK BEHIND YOU!

Nice try, he replied. But I’m not falling for that again-

SLAM!

The clock falls, squashing him instantly.

15/16 GREEN GUYS DEAD

1/1000 CLOCKS DESTROYED

Welp. Guess that’s how the cookie crumbles. Or in this case...how time _flys_.

[Yeeeaaaaaah!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6YMPAH67f4o)

Cautiously, you gently pick up the fallen crowbar, jump over the fallen clock, and go down the hallway.

You continue through the mansion until you stop to see a giant safe.

Using Crowbar’s um...well...crowbar, you successfully open the hatch.

Seeing the scanner before you, you take out your LUCKY SPADES that (luckily) has a barcode.

But first you have to contact the rest of your crew.

 _I’m at the rendezvous point._ You speak into your walkie talkie, hoping to get a response. _Where are you guys?_

_Guys?_

_Ace?_

_Professor?_

_....Anybody?_

**Hello there, Spades.**

Your entire body froze to hear the Black Queen-er, Snowman’s voice.

_Um... **What are you talkin’ about?**_

**Cut the act, Spades. I know you and your crew are from the other side.**

Crap.

_What have you done to Ace and the Professor?_

**Don’t worry so much, Spades. I only gave them a little talk.**

_....You...._

_You monster!_

**Now, now. Take it easy. I’m no monster. It’s just business, that’s all.**

_Oh yeah? If it’s just business, then why don’t you and I have a little chat?_

**Well, if that’s the case...then I only have one thing to say.**

You turn around only to see a whip grab hold of your right arm and rips it right out.

You wince before looking up to see the ex-monarch herself.

“ **Be careful what you wish for.”**

But before you even get to do anything, the hatch slams right in front of you.

You stood there for a moment, hardly even speaking after what transpired.

You can’t kill her. As much as you hate her for killing your teammates and for ripping out your arm, you can’t kill her. You would destroy the entire universe if you do.

And besides...

It wouldn’t bring them back.

->Use the barcode.-

You use the barcode to open up the inside, which reveals a ladder where you slowly but carefully climb down.

Taking your disguise and ripping it with your teeth makes you a bandage of your missing arm well as one for your eye.

It’s a good thing you taught yourself to be ambidextrous.

Anyways, you continue until you see a panel with twelve separate screens but only one is lit up, with the image of a young grey girl that you have remember meeting before.

With hope in your eyes, you place your remaining hand into the keyboard.

>Hey there.


	8. Chapter 8

You are now Roxy and you are currently downstairs heading towards the door after staring at the mailbox outside your house for hours.

The time for freaking out is over. It’s time to take action.

>Roxy: Go outside.

As you feel the refreshing wind of this cool April day, you can’t help but think of a quote that has inspired you throughout your whole life.

“True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new.”

— French writer and pilot Antoine de Saint-Exupèry.

You are completely sure that he said that. In fact, you already checked.

Anyways, time to get some mail!

You open up the mailbox and took out the two SBURB copies. One for server and one for client.

Thankfully, you can carry these with your hands rather than put in your sylladex and you’re all set.

With that task completed, you head back up to your room and install the client copy of the beta.

AA: Did you get the disks?

GP: yep! i already got the game installed too!

AA: Great!

AA: So I get to be your server!

GP: but what about Jane and the others?

AA: I already got that planned. The order is GP > GE > TM > AA.

GP: so you’re serving me, I’m going to serve Jane, Jane is going to serve Dirk, and Dirk is going to serve you.

AA: Yep! Even though it might change due to some circumstances that might happen, but that’s it so far.  


GP: wow

GP: i think you got Dirk beat on the planning ahead tournament.

AA: Nah. I’m not as good at planning ahead as Dirk is. He would’ve already got the golden medal.

AA: Anywho, I’m going to tell Jane about this. Be right back!

GP: okay!


	9. Chapter 9

>Roxy: Be AA.

A young boy sits legs crossed on his bed with his laptop by his side. Amongst him you see a handful of posters on the walls, along with bookshelves and a desk used only for writing that includes a typewriter, tons of papers and a stapler with staples next to it. Just in case.

What shall be his name?

JAKE ENGLISH

Nope. Try again.

JAKE LALONDE

There you go! Look at him smile.

As it was previously shown, your name is unquestionably JAKE. And despite the dreary and otherwise depressing mood that the rain is making it feel like outside, your room is completely lit up even though the rest of the house isn’t due to POWER FAILURES POPPING UP FROM TIME TO TIME, which completely symbolizes your INNER OUTLOOK ON LIFE.

Despite how many people believe you, just because you live in a dark and spoopy mansion, that doesn’t mean that you’re into DARK, GOTHIC STUFF. Oh no, no, no! You’re into more EMOTIONAL, FEEL GOOD, OR EXCITING THINGS like The Breakfast Club or Ghostbusters or Titanic or better yet..

CON AIR.

You simply love Con Air. Just the idea of someone as heroic yet deeply scarred as Cameron Poe battling against other chaps who are just as emotionally scarred as much as he is while being over protective to his daughter’s stuffed rabbit is simply captivating.

As you can tell, you love to ANALYZE YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES. Taking the storyline apart and analyzing them is your speciality. Aside from WRITING and CODING, of course.

But enough talking about yourself. You have a job to do and that is delivering the news.


	10. Chapter 10

adventurousAuthor [AA] began pestering gutsyExplorer [GE].

AA: Jane?

AA: Jane, are you there?

GE: yes. i’m here.

GE: this is dream me, by the way. coming up to you live at prospit via dreambot. the real me is asleep right now. if that makes any sense...what’s up J?

AA: Well, me and Roxy are playing Sburb together, so I decided to come over and tell you the order of who’s serving who while the game’s loading.

AA: The order is a work in progress, but here’s what I have.

AA: GP > GE > TM > AA

GE: okay, let me see here...

GE: just so you know I’m writing this down on my dream journal so you can tell me if I got some things wrong.

GE: okay. so you’re helping Roxy, then she’s going to help me, then I’m going to help Dirk, then he is going to help you.

AA: You’re right on target, Jane!

GE: aw gee thanks. i totally needed the confidence boost. i’ll go text Dirk about this immediately.

AA: Thanks. See you later, alligator.

GE: ;) back at a while, crocodile.

adventurousAuthor [AA] ceased pestering gutsyExplorer [GE].

You love talking to her, almost as much as she loves talking to you. In fact, even though you’re not so confident of telling her this, but gosh darn it you love her.

But you’re not sure if she loves you back. During all of your conversations, you keep on getting mixed messages about it. Heck, she probably only views you as a friend.

And despite your heart aching to,tell her, you don’t want to ruin your platonic relationship with her.

But someday, you’ll tell her. Even if you’re have to die in order to do it, you will.

>AA: Ponder on your overlooked relationships with your friends.

Ugh...Where should you start?

>AA: Ponder on the fact that you’re a homosexual.

What? No you’re not.

Actually...when you think about it...

You’re not really sure what kind of person you are.

You do have a bit of a onesided crush on Jane, but the idea of being with Roxy makes your heart race.

And don’t forget to mention the way Dirk constantly makes jokes that makes you laugh every time.

But at the same time you want to keep your equally friendly relationships with everyone, regardless of how you feel in return.

>Jake: Register the fact that you recently just found out that you’re bi.

That....actually makes sense.

Your life is forever changed.

C’mon Jake, snap out of it! You have to go see if Roxy’s ready.

Your laptop lit up with life once you press on the keys, revealing the image of a bedroom. A certain 13 yr old’s bedroom.


	11. Chapter 11

Okay, now that the game has been booted, let’s get down to business.

>Jake: Select the time capsule.

You selected the time capsule and lifted it up.

AA: Sorry, just trying to get a hang on their controls here. One moment!

Trying to find a place to put the chest down, you decided to place it on the balcony.

Meanwhile, back at the room, Roxy stopped to see a familiar object on the floor where the chest once stood.

It was her LONG LOST STACK FETCH MODUS!

>Roxy: Get your other fetch modus.

You have safely secured your stack modus and equipped it alongside your queue fetch modus in your sylladex.

You switch between them in a very joyful way.

In addition to that, you reequip one of your rifle guns to your modus, even though that action causes you to throw your SMOKE PELLETS out.

Eh. You can get them again anyways. You then flip over to the back of your strife specibus and allocate it to riflekind.

GP: thank you, Jake!

AA: Huh? What for?

GP: for putting my time capsule on the balcony. without you, i wouldn’t have never find my stack modus.

AA: Oh. If that’s the case, then you’re welcome! ;D

GP: oh my god what is that?

AA: It’s a smiley face with a wink!

AA: Y’know, like this! ;D

GP: that is the most innovative emoticon i’ve seen. you, my sir, have just created a new emote for the whole world to use. people would line up just to get your autograph.

AA: Aw shucks, you really think so? Hopefully I won’t run out of ink!

>Jake: Add more space.

You proceed to add more space into Roxy’s room, making it a lot bigger than what it used to be.

After that’s accomplished, you deploy the totem lathe onto the empty space. You also proceed to place the alchemiter onto the balcony and the cruxtruder onto the living room.

AA: Okay, I got everything deployed.

GP: great! heading downstairs right now!

>Roxy: Get started.

You go downstairs to see the cruxtruder in the living room. You also see your grandmother’s urns placed on top of the fireplace near her portrait.

Rest In Peace, Grandma Jade.

You then stop to feel your phone vibrate in your pocket and took it out.

AA: Look out below!

You quickly froze to see one of your dad’s globes floating towards the machine and jumped over to the couch right before it hit the lid.

  
When you popped out of your hiding spot, you were face to face with a kernelsprite, a blue cruxite dowel, and a pre punched card.

The timer is counting down. You know exactly what to do.

You go over to the totem lathe in your room and insert the card and the dowel into their proper places.

After the process was complete, you gently took your Navi figurine and threw it towards the sprite.

You then took the cruxite and ascended up to the balcony where you placed the ocean colored statue onto the alchemiter. The laser coming from the machine scanned the metal item, creating a seemingly generic cube.

You looked at the object in confusion until an idea suddenly hits you.

Trying your best to focus, you sat onto the alchemiter and took the object by the hands, slowly changing its shape.

You continue to do so in your own pace, even though you’re completely aware of the upcoming meteor heading right towards your direction.

You wipe your brow as you look down at your newly created masterpiece. A handmade clay cat.

Once you were finished, your house engulfed itself with light before disappearing completely just in time before the rock hits.

>Jake: Be relieved.

Whew. Now that’s over with...You can be rest assured that everything will be alright-

Suddenly, the whole house shook as the sound of a huge explosion echoed throughout your area.

You quickly look outside only to see the unwelcoming red flames of a few certain space rocks falling from the sky.

 _Crap_.

But before we get ourselves into that situation, how about we introduce another friend, shall we?


	12. Chapter 12

Okay. So there’s this cool dude, alright? And this guy is the coolest of all cool. You may not know his name now, but he’s willing to give you a chance to guess just like a cool dude would do.

DIRK STRIDER

Ah sweet! You got it right on your first try!

Anyways, your name is DIRK. You very well know that your name is and always will be that because it’s a awesome name. As if there’s any other person with a name as cool as that. But if there is, you would totally give that guy a good old fist bump.

Today is surprisingly a WARM APRIL DAY. So warm in fact, you even got your fans out and everything. Luckily, you also got some SWEET MELLOW TUNES that make you so cold, you wouldn’t even remember how hot you really are.

Besides MAKING AWESOME MUSIC and SERENADING TO THE EYES AND EARS OF MANY, you’re also a huge ANIME AND VIDEO GAME FANATIC. Especially ONES WITH ROBOTS, like ASTRO BOY and MEGAMAN. 

> Dirk: Do a cool guitar riff.

That sounds like a great idea! 

But before you get into shredding, you stop once you see a message pop up on your computer.

Guitar practice will have to wait for now.

tacticalMechanic [TM] began pestering gutsyExplorer [GE].

TM: hey jane. what’s up?

GE: roxy and jake just started playing Sburb.

TM: really?

GE: yes really. i came to tell you the order of who’s sending who to the Medium.

TM: ok then. shoot.

GE: the order is Roxy (GP) > Me (GE) > You (TM) > Jake (AA).

TM: so Roxy’s going to be your server , then you’re going to be my server, and I’m going to be Jake’s server?

TM: that sounds pretty simple.

GE: that’s Jake for you. worry about the simple stuff first, then move on to the next. even though i think that’s going to change soon.

TM: huh? how so?

GE: i don’t know. i just get this gut feeling. we better check to make sure he’s alright.

TM: alright. i’ll go check on him. thanks.

GE: you’re absolutely welcome. 

technicalMechanic [TM] ceased pestering gutsyExplorer [GE].

technicalMechanic [TM] began pestering adventurousAuthor [AA].

TM: jake?

TM: *psst* ground control to major jake.

TM: come in jake.

AA: DIRK

AA: I’M SO HAPPY THAT YOU’RE HERE

TM: i can see that.

AA: I NEED YOU BEFORE MY ENTIRE HOUSE IS WIPED OUT THE FACE OF THE MAP

AA: LUCKILY THE RAIN IS MAKING IT EASIER FOR ME BUT STILL

AA: SPEAKING OF IMPENDING DOOM HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO FAST ANYWAYS?

TM: you gotta thank Jane for that. if it wasn’t for her, I would probably wouldn’t have checked.

AA: Noted. NOW HURRY!!

TM: okay. i’ll go get the beta from downstairs. hopefully Bro didn’t get to it first.

technicalMechanic [TM] ceased pestering adventurousAuthor [AA].

>Dirk: Allocate katana to strife specibus.

You already have bladekind, courtesy to your Bro who gave you this sword during your 6th birthday.

You‘re a bit confused is to why he would give a six year old a sword, but somehow he must’ve known that you would need it one day.

And today is that day.

>Dirk: Go downstairs.

You very so carefully try your best to go down the stairs.

Careful...Almost there.....Dang it!

IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING

WHY

>Dirk: Recover from fall.

You’re completely fine. A bit hurt emotionally and physically, but fine.

Fortunately, the package is just over at the kitchen. Unfortunately, your brother just noticed you coming in.

And he doesn’t look pleased. Then again, you’re not really sure how he feels.

>STRIFE!

You summon your katana, ready to fight.

Psyche! It’s only a distraction!

You quickly slide under his feet and grabbed the package.

NICE!

When you reach over the other side, he surprisedly doesn’t look mad at all. He already looks...proud.

With a small smirk, he gave you a gentle little ruffle on your hair, much to your displeasure. But you do know his heart’s in the right place. A strange place, but a good one.

But enough talking about the anomaly that is your older brother, you better go up into those stairs immediately.

You have a friend to save.


	13. Chapter 13

>Jake: Have a mental breakdown.

No, you refuse! You’re Jake Lalonde, and you never give up! Ever! If there’s one thing you’ve got from your dad, it’s effin’ determination!

>Jake: Allocate your wand into your sfrife specibus.

What wand? You already have your sfrife specibus allocated, and it’s in pistolkind.

2xpistolkind.

Suddenly, you turn around to see a certain house shaped cursor place a totem lathe near your bookcase.

Your eyes lit up with hope before you head out your room to see a cruxtruder. Knowing what to do, you jump from upstairs and land on the lid.

A bright light bursts out of the machine as you suddenly rebound, heading head first into the wall until you found yourself landing on a soft surface.

You then realize that you’re floating on your own bed.

TM: jake are you okay?

AA: Yes, I’m alright Dirk. Thanks for the sweet catch!

TM: next time leave the stunts to the professionals ok?

AA: Got it! Now let’s get this show on the road!

>Jake: Enter.

Jumping out the bed, you quickly grab the cruxite dowel and the pre punched card and head upstairs where you place the card and tower into the machine.

While you’re doing that, Dirk takes one of your Dad’s beloved ghostbuster wearing mannequins and places it into the sprite.

After you’re done, you take your beloved picture of Jaspers and throw it into the Bustersprite.

Afterwords, you then head outside with Jaspers by your side and go up into your house’s roof where you see the alchemiter at your sights.

You quickly race over there and place the dowel into the machine. A lavender typewriter appears before you.

Using your knowhow, you type the quickest story you ever make. Your hands fly off the buttons as your surroundings become a bit more chaotic over time due to the giant red tornados swarming around you.

Thankfully, you’re too focused to notice.

As the timer is at its last minute, you type the last words before finishing it off with a period, ending the story as your entire house turns white along with most of the hill around you right before the next meteor hits.

>Dirk: Talk to Jane.

TM: alright Jane i have some good news.

GE: oh? and what good news is that my good sir?

TM: i safely got Jake to the medium.

GE: really? that’s great!

GE: well i’ve got some good news for you too!

GE: i’ve got the game!

GE: you should hear the cruxtruder...open right...now!

All of a sudden, you hear a thud before turning around that the machine placed to where your bed used to be is already open thanks to someone dropping your box of CDs, revealing a orange kernelsprite, a cruxite dowel, and a pre punched card in your hands.

A smirk grew on your face.

You can’t wait to get started.

>Dirk: Enter.

Alright. You’re all set-

Huh?

You stop to see your pre punched card and dowel is missing from your hands.

Who could’ve done such a thing?

But before you head outside your room, all of a sudden, a seagull flys into your room and merges with the sprite.

GE: well that’s convenient.

TM: why yes Jane. yes it is.

You go out your apartment room only to look up to see your mortal enemy.

Stairs.

You go up those stairs like the boss you are, only to find your formed cruxite dowel was already in the alchemiter. Almost as if someone else was here before you were.

Fortunately, you don’t have to keep your question hanging for too long only to see your older brother flying on his jet board using his katana to...wait...what is he doing?

Oh my god. Did he just cut that meteor in half?

But wait...who is that other person helping him?

No. You have to focus right now or else all that’s left of you would be a grave saying ‘Here lies Dirk Strider. Born on 1995- Died on 2003. Died due to meteor landing. A soldier to the very end. May he rest in our hearts and our minds.’

You watch as the laser causes a red music box to land into your arms.

Shrugging your shoulders, you start to twist the knob. You continue to twist it until you see one of the meteors heading towards you.

GE: dirk watch out!

You froze until suddenly you see the meteor stop right in front of you.

It’s just...there. Not moving at all.

You look up and squint to try and see who saved you only to stop to see the music box starting to play.

As your house slowly dissipates into a beacon of light, your Bro stops and smiles before giving you a thumbs up. Almost as if he knows that you don’t.

It almost makes you wish you could understand what he knows. What it’s like to be him.

Then again, who needs to know something like that? Because in the end, he’s still your brother.


	14. Not a chapter!

Okay guys. I just want to tell you guys real quick. I may or may not change Swapstuck. 

Now, I bet you’re wondering ‘Gee. What do you mean by change? Does that mean you’re going to change everything?’

And the answer for that is no. I’m not going to change everything. The trolls and cherubs are still going to stay the same. 

The only ones who are going to change are the kids.

How am I going to change them, you ask? Well, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and as much as I love Roxy Egbert, Jake Lalonde, Jane Harley, Dirk Strider and the alpha kids...I don’t think I did a good job with them at all.

In fact, i’m still reading the webcomic, so I can fully understand what’s going on so I can figure out what to keep in the story and what to change.

Deep down in my mind, I’ve always had the idea to have Jake be swapped with John, rather than Roxy. 

And that completely changes everything. Thankfully, I didn’t plan the story all the way though, so I’ll try my best to plan this whole thing without making it just a fill in the blank rip off version of Homestuck. Because to be honest, that’s what I’ve been worried about throughout the whole thing.

Luckily, you guys didn’t think it was a problem, seeing I’ve got what? 132 hits so far? And for that, I honestly thank every last one of you who liked my stories even when I thought they were horrible.

Oops. I just realized i’m rambling a bit there. 

Anyways, i’m not going to delete this version. I’m just going to keep it here for all the people who liked it while I go try and take my time figuring out the remake. 

See you guys later and thanks for reading this. You’re awesome if you just read this whole ramble/info post.

 

\- Klonoafan5 


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